Don’t cry. It’s not that bad. Heck, you might get some leniency from the judge and have to serve just a little over 100 years. Maybe you’ll get to go to a place that is more like a country club than it is a prison. Maybe you’ll be surrounded by understanding criminals, some of whom you helped get prosecuted, mind you, who won’t be hellbent in retribution, but instead show you the ropes and assist you in becoming acclimated to the day to day prison life. Maybe there won’t be the threat of rape, sexual battery, and/or forcible oral sodomy looming over your head day in and out for the next… many thousands of days. Maybe… Oh who am I kidding…? Have fun living out the last season of Oz for forever.
PS. It doesn’t matter anymore if you’re careful not to drop the soap. Someone is going to purposefully slap it out your hand. I told you many a nights to go home and play on your PS4, but oh no. “I’ll get away with it,” you said. “Who’d believe them?” you taunted. Well…